babies were throwing up all over the place
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
