A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
