Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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