would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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