He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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