Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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