yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
