i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
