I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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