We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
