your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
