If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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