But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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