his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
