i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
