He had one of those small greek statue penises
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
