this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
