Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Randomize
