what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
