why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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