in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
