After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
