marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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