Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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