so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
