1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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