I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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