Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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