I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
