just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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