Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the day after is always just damage control
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
