Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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