i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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