I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
