I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
