She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
