I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
