the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
