Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
