That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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