Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
