considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
