so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
