i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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