She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
