I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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