is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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