We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
