Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
