Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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