the condom got lost in my hair
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
