if i can run in heels then i can drive
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How naked do you want me to be?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
