This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
