you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
